There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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