Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
