i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
