I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
