quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
