I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
