I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
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Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
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I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done