she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?