Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?