you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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