***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Dignity is for republicans.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
