I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
