that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
