Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
