ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
