I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
