just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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