Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
