I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
wow bdsm is so cute
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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