you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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