thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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