Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize