So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i believe in u and ur pee
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
