i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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