***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
