Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
