I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to summon your inner elephant
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize