Plan B is the new Plan A
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
