my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
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He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize