Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
