so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize