their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
