so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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