Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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