Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize