It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just high enough for therapy.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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