I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
do herpes really smell.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
