i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
