Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
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The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
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He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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