I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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