The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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