he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
