Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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