YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I am one with the molecules
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
