i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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