but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
