I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
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He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
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Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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