I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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