i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize