Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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