OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
