chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
