You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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