You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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