Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
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Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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