I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
