You're completely useless in the revolution.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Randomize
