i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
