I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
