Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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