Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
